30.5.15

Vanished

Originally written on May 30, 2015
At your absolute best, you still won't be good enough for the wrong person. At your worst, you'll still be worth it to the right person.

1. They always make you feel inferior, and that was not even the worst part. They (think) they are perfect. You are not. How to change it? Nothing. You wish they tell you that you have something to proud of. But they didn't.
2. You ask them, what is it in you that is so precious to them? They didn't answered. You asked them again. Still no answer. They only say "Do Your Best." Okay then. You're not worth it (for them).
3. Be better, change yourself, they said. Repeatedly. You've tried, but they seem didn't notice at all. And then they noticed, but it seem never enough.
4. They said they need you to not to surrender. You've tried. Many times. Again, it seem never enough. Perhaps you've been invisible all these times.
5. How many times they tell you to leave? Hundreds. And then you've tried not to leave. They didn't ask you to stay, but you stayed anyway. You were the one who always struggle to reach them.
6. You stay. Again, betting on something you've been struggling for. But then they tortured you, telling you to go, telling you that you're never good enough, and then the worst part was when they said: "a person like you, wanting to be kept? I'll say NO." Suddenly you feel not worth it. At all. And that'll be enough reason for you to leave.

Think about it. They are good. Too good for you, to be honest. They loved you more than you'll ever know. They loved you even when you still hate them. Now that you love them, too - too much - they just treat you like you have thousand flaws. You love them. And still. But have they ever - I mean, EVER - asked you, what do you want? Did they know that you need them to be the same? Did they know that you need them to believe that you are precious? Did they know that you want them to tell you to stay? And did they know that you didn't like to be asked to leave? Perhaps they are right (I mean, they are always right). You're not worth it to keep. You better leave, and vanished. They'll said: Bye. Have fun. Etc. You don't have to come back.