This is a super duper late post about everything I routinely write on my *clears throat* birthday, or the end of the year, or the beginning of the year (ain't everything is the same for me lol). It's just nice to see yourself changing after a series of interesting events - whether good or bad - and it's just nicer if you could see it in conclusions, a yearly ones, like these birthday posts of me:
Seeing those posts are like peeking to a box of memorabilia. I mean I documented me fell, drowned, poisoned, strangled, worshiped, adored, complimented, promoted (?), fell again, then killed (luckily not dead yet), but frankly I still alive and grew. Twenty seven. What a fat number. And I once wondered how Harry Potter stars feel growing, like, being watched by everyone in their films, is it weird or is it annoying? Nah. I did that, too, in my not-famous blog and I feel quite entertained to peek at them posts once in a while (such a narcissist lol). Kidding. But really, this might useful one day, like, if someone asks me to write a biography, I'll hire a ghost writer and let him read my whole posts and decipher whatever I wrote here lol. Kidding again. Sorry.
|That Kid in Headshot Movie.|
Plain Paper. Faber Castell colored pencils. Snowman drawing pen.
So what happened exactly (some of them, well, metaphorically) on me before I reach that fat number? Here are the 26 most interesting stuff took place in my crystal palace (huuuhh):
My inner circle of the office (dunno how to called them, we called us "palsu" lol) gave me a birthday surprise. Failed one but too funny I was touched and laughed at the same time.
Realized that something has naturally changed and it was irreversible: no matter hard we tried to keep it still, in a selfishly desired form, well, it was too late: deformed, destructed, and deleted. Not everything is meant to be happened. This was one of it. The not-meant-to-be stuff. Tragically speaking, I still somehow trying to make it work. The fatigue level of me was increased by 300% because of it lol. I decided to find a lot of stuff to distract me from whatever was it.
"Team work" consists of two words and requires two factors: team and work. You have a good team with a good work, well, be my guest. But what happened when you didn't trust your team but you had to work with them? Here's the story. I was in a very good team but my overwhelming traits somehow ruined my team working ability that day. So sad every time I think about that. But it was happy ending so I try to be less regret about that.
Retail therapy. I bought tons of hijabs from those online shops. I didn't wear most of them sadly.
Attending the Islamic Book Fair in Jakarta. I didn't really buy a lot of these kind of books but it was fun. It's been a while since I attended book fairs. I got Tere Liye's signing on my books as a bonus.
On March, I started my piano lesson. I know. This was really happening. Playing piano is one of my childhood dream. I lost my autodidact ability lol so I hired a mentor. It was going well but after several months I decided to quit: busy because of working thing. I know. Duh.
Watching a rare solar eclipse. Actually, I once a big fan of astronomy so enjoying this event was quite interesting. Not really. I was planning to sleep all day when this happened but my friend was visiting my rented room only to see that eclipse hehe. Last time I saw one was in my elementary school year so it was really worth it.
I had a quite complicated family history. I mean everyone has it actually. On my cousin's wedding day I watched the drama again. So sad. Making me love my father even more.
Had a very long week because of thing called "PROPER". I wouldn't say too much because it was part of my job lol but it was really super duper exhausting. I traveled to three provinces in only that one week. I need to prepare for an event, too, in my office so in that timeline I need to work extra fast, extra careful. Alhamdulillah, it was successful.
Obsessed with Mortal Combat. I don't play it but seeing the gameplay on Youtube was very entertaining. Ah, I remember that I was growing up seeing my brothers playing it on our old PC. Back then gaming was more fun, less rating concern. Pardon me for my fetish :(
On June that PROPER thing was getting worse. Too exhausted to explain their behavior but it was probably my first battle (lol) versus those people. Alhamdulillah I got the result I desired and everyone was happy. First rule to debate with those stubborn people: use their own scripture against them. They wouldn't talk much when you understand their rules more than they did.
Realized that someone's opinion towards others depend on how we describe our own opinion to them. I mean we have that scary ability to make people hate each others. Talking about stopping those evil comments on people :( Btw, I took a trip with my besties from college. To Jogja. More like a broken-heart trip because we talked a lot about it lol.
Another "bridging" task has failed. Why do people keep asking me to connect them? I mean, I am not that kind lol. They could just meeting each other, sitting together and talk about whatever they want to discuss. Isn't it simpler?
Finally had the guts to apply a secret project. A famous one. Driven by my impulsive nature after some of bad arguments with some people lol. I was like that. This is where I stopped minding that unnecessary illogical masochist nature of me. Abusive means abusive. There's no excuse for it.
Reactivated my twitter on June 21st. Oh, did I tell you that I deleted it because of its thousands rants and whining I didn't want to remember? Hehe. Now you know.
Had a very bad conflict with one of my fellow office mates. I was very upset I even didn't want to get involved with him anymore in any circumstances, inside or outside the workplace. Thankfully one day we had a chance to talk about it heart to heart and boom! Problem solved. Alhamdulillah.
Making a list of my debt to Him. My friend encouraged me to pay it promptly. Then I remembered about my qadha of fasting. For some reasons I way too slow repaying them. But alhamdulillah I finally finished paying it on 2016.
Bought a lot of new art supplies! Including new scanner whoohoo. Will talk about this later.
Minimizing my number of stuff. I am a hoarder. I saved a lot of things on my cupboard waiting years for them to be thrown away. So then I decided to save my space for I haven't got my own house. I mean, those stuff will only be a pile of stuff, right? I wouldn't have enough time to use them all. We need to give them to others who will make the use of them more than us.
Two of my closest friends were gone for good. I said this in a dramatic way lol because they actually transferred to another office. So sad because we've been hanging out for almost three years and they gave me the best days of my life in Palembang. I haven't find another better laughter since them.
Another drama happened in my family. Never in a million times I had that drama. And then He warned me with that disaster happened in my home town. I always know that things are connected somehow. That disaster led me to a better understanding about my family. Tighten our bonding and insya Allah, we love each other even more.
That PROPER has a good result. Too good, I must say. Because of it I could finally brought my parents to Bali. Yeah. Sometimes we need to celebrate things.
Took a leap in my secret project. Really did a lot of effort, and I could say that never in a million years that I did something so hard to reach a thing that I really want. Well, it wasn't succeed, unfortunately. I took a moment of grief because of this. I mean, really. Felt like I was struck by lightning. Hard struck. But it is okay now. That moment has passed. I learnt that a rough plan will only lead to a bitter result. More bitter because you put no sincere in it.
An unbelievable fact has finally revealed itself. Brought to me by coincidences (I agree that there's no such thing as coincidence, yes?) and then I was confused how to handle it - if it meant to be handled. At first I did't know how to react but then, I found a glimpse of beauty in it. Somehow my old pain was gone. Should I keep it? Maybe I will. In another form, it still beautiful. God help me.
My Nexus 5 was broken. Too sad because I love him too much. I never had a cell phone that I like so much I didn't want another phone (seriously!!).
Had four farewells (with those two besties, make it six) in a very short time. I still don't know how to react, or cope, or life.. But the one thing I know is I have to survive. We talk about survival now, don't we?
Pardon me for a very looooong post lol. I mean I haven't write in two months. Bear with me lol.
So 2016 is a very strange year. Talking about coping here. A very long one. Still have no idea how to reform myself this year. How to refine. How to be me. Which version of me, I may add. I guess I will just doing whatever society or common sense tell me to be. Like, working, eating, breathing, lol. I mean, life is life. There's no need to specialize it. I didn't write resolution whatsoever. I still thinking. Hope it will end soon because I ain't no teenager anymore, no?
Welcome 2017. Welcome 27. I'm no longer afraid.