Can we really help the toxic people by giving them some (extra) effing empathy??
Fact check: being in a career-world for almost 5 years took me to realize that since I signed that contract, I have decided to drown myself into that cruel society, where friend(s) are rare things to find (if not nonexistent) and enemy(es) are growing in number (or ability!) as we climb to a higher place. No no, not that I have climbed higher place (yet) lol or got promoted whatsoever so I have enemies, no. I was tempted to say that, because I've looked around, analyzing the circumstances, terrified by that "war" that constantly takes place, and then I came into that conclusion. Scary... And if you think you have no enemy, uhm honey, you may think you have none, but probably some of your fellas slash co-workers have marked you as theirs.
|Taken from The Intern, as I captured on my sketch book.|
During my observation, I found this phrase, "the toxic co-worker" who put poison in your days and spread the hate every time they walk or speak. Do I have one? Or am I likely that one? IDK. But they are do exist in many forms. The one that annoys me too much is this ultra-cocky-playing-victim-empathy-beggar (what a phrase! lol). Yeah, we have (at least) that one co-worker who constantly upset because he/ she thinks that people are got them in a very wrong place, gaining followers by using his/ her sad sad rants while silently owning an ultra-huge self esteem, that he/ she thinks he/ she deserves better things (like wages? position?) than others.
What?? Ew! Right?
I've been struggling with one of those kinds of people and somehow it drives me nut, like, I hope I could change them or giving them my empathy (more like pep talks, actually) to make them less annoying, but man I was unsuccessful lol. Let's hope that we're not part of those cr*p. I mean, we have our insecurities and stuff but always keep in mind that not everything is for shared and that toxic is bad for your mental health! We started working usually at our 20s, I think it's mature enough to enter this world but those people do still exist.
About my version of that toxic co-worker(s), I have an analysis for each phrase mentioned above:
Ultra Cocky - silently owning an ultra-huge self esteem, that he/ she thinks he/ she deserves better things (like wages? position?) than others.
When it comes to self-esteem, some people are just not having it. Like, some of them have it low, some others have it so extra. Me? Probably low lol. Shoo shoo that negativity. This may have reasons, like, some people are more experienced than others so their self-esteem is higher. It's actually okay to have it high, you possibly got your job because of that in the first place; but if it makes you look down to others, well, you're a cocky bast*ard. Everyone has a different ability. If you still don't understand, there's one episode called "Pressure" in Spongebob. Go watch it.
- SpongeBob: Uh, thanks for saving us, Sandy.
- Sandy: You know, everyone's best at something.
- SpongeBob: But no one's best at everything.
Playing Victim - constantly upset because he/ she thinks that people are got them in a very wrong place.
At some point everyone has that phase when you think you're being misplaced. Me, too. If you read my posts for some time, you may aware that I'm not very pleased with my position nowadays since I am a former chemist-to-be lol. Now let's say you're being misplaced because of bad luck or unfair corporate system or any other reasons you approve (don't forget that here you are cocky, you won't accept it if we called you as "incapable"), you still have your duty to work, right? You are bounded to your contract, you promised your workplace that you'll do everything they told you to. AND YOU'RE PAID.
Now everyone know exactly how considerable (rather excessive) the amount of your salary compared to others who WORK WAY HARDER with HIGHER TARGETS in another company. So it's just no way you're poor or something. Don't you shame for being so greedy and demanding?
We know you've already work as best as you could and you upset because you still haven't reach that position you dream while others (who you think less busy than you) got promoted before you do. You have all the rights to upset really. You think the corporate is so unfair that you try to protest and change it. Well do upset as much as you want, but don't you forget there's this factor you can't control entirely called "RIZKI"? And then also, in the career-world there's a term called "work ethic" forbid you to upset for too long (especially when it affects your working performance, and annoys people around you). You forget that, too? Right, you're just too cocky.
I told you this: good thing they still pay you. They can easily replace you with some other people with better ability, and better WORK ETHIC slash ATTITUDE. Really, you're so replaceable. My suggestion, be more grateful. Stop being so upset that people started to get annoyed. You're not the unluckiest person on earth.
Empathy Beggar - gaining followers by using his/ her sad sad rants.
We know you're upset and sad. Really, we do know. We will help you if we could. We won't laugh at you (of course, why!). But once you started to gain some "followers" like, persuade them to join you to the dark side, man you're so childish and stu*pid. Lucky for them if they only pity you and just that. Would be very unfortunate when they start to decrease their working attitude, do less for the very company that feed them and their family, for the sake of their "solidarity" for you. And you think you're some kind of revolution pioneer or something! You must be damn mentally disturbed. Oops.
That is my analysis.
You could possibly understand the way they act because of their resentment over some of corporate policy or similar. But if you agree with the way they annoy people with their nosy-nasty attitude, cocky and even blaming a certain person for their unfortunate events, maaan you're just as close as being as toxic as those people. There's no way you could help or change them. They should help themselves. Don't waste your so called empathy by giving them some approval or courage to do their effing toxic attitude for the sake of "pity". You'll just only make them fall deeper. Be careful.
And if you feel you started to become one? Do yourself a favor. Remember why you started this thing, recall the times when you were an unfortunate jobless, and look around you, there are people whose just not as lucky as you. The seems-to-be-luckier ones also exist but if you focus on them instead of trying to refine yourself, do good deeds and all, man you'd be so busy torturing your mental. Not so healthy. Remember the smiles and happiness you brought to your family by your presence, your happy face, not only by the money you gave them but also your dedication and your grateful feeling.
And think of your son, your daughter, or anyone who closes to you; if they copy your toxic attitude, would you approve?
Lastly, if you still couldn't stand any of this anymore and still feel wrongly places, like the company is unfair to you and all, well, maybe it's time for you to sign a resignation letter. You deserve a better place :)
|Source. Oops for that meme lol.|
May Allah bless us, and forbid that attitude to be part of our becoming. Amen.