So psyched these days because at times, everything needs to be on My way. With capital M, yes, referring to your ego. That's right, your ego doesn't help you but in this case you accidentally involves it one too many times. Let me tell you something, since the very beginning my friends tell me that six months isn't a good length of time to prepare this, I never really think about it until it happens to me - really to me lol (yeah, I still can't believe this, too) and I need to make it good. Look at the long shopping list with strikes here and there. So many items, so much asterix' (and footnote), and well, a lot of out-of-plan added stuff making the list longer and longer day after day.
And my weight!
My weight is up by 3 kg OMG. While so many others do the diet to be as slender as possible to celebrate it, me is originally this extra thin so I need to raise my weight - I never thought I'm going to be any fatter until today lol - but NOT THIS FAT OMG. Not to body-shame anyone believe me, but now I know how's the urge of "need-to-be-on-a-diet" feels like. Phew. So stressful.
|Acrylic trial on ordinary paper.|
I'm (still) a control freak. I need everything happen to be my way. Like an "IT-zilla" - clownish act may follow. That's why, I'm afraid I've become one - not a hundred percents one but still is. This stress, lead to reckless decisions happen in a very short period, making a huge questionable stuff happened in my head (and home). How did this happen? Organizing an event is not a new thing for me - still, I learn that every event has its own special manic character so to become "IT-zilla" is a dead-huge possibility.
(When I wrote this, I've already calmed down and hopefully sober enough from the "IT-zilla" symptom lol).
Ego No.1 - I Concept This