A Hijab History

Lagi 'gak bisa tidur, terus lihat-lihat gambar bikinan zaman dulu pas masih sekolah. Masa-masa paling labil tapi paling indah buatku. Karena dari situlah aku tau mana yang baik dan mana yang buruk. Yang baik baru kelihatan baik setelah kamu tau yang buruk, bukan? Nah. Kejadian itu aku alami pas masa transisi dari SMP menuju SMA.

Hijab and me.

Waktu SMP aku lumayan berandalan. Pernah diomelin guru, pernah kabur dari sekolah terus ketahuan polisi, pernah berantem sama laki-laki sampe masuk BP, pernah pake sepatu putih pas lagi razia sepatu, pernah (hampir) berantem dengan anak SMP lain, pernah nge-bully orang, pernah naek gunung bareng teman sekelas dan gak minta izin ortu, pernah bawa banyak komik ke sekolah dan pas banget lagi razia tas, pernah ngecilin baju seragam dan gak bilang ortu, dan gak keitung berapa kali aku musuhan antar geng (ohyaa aku punya geng) dengan teman-teman lain. (tapi aku gak berani ngerokok atau lainnya. OMG gak mungkin banget itu). Agak mengejutkan karena dengan segala reputasi buruk itu, aku masih bisa juara kelas (tapi aku dibenci guru-guru).

Publish or Perish: A Blogger History

This time I want to tell you something about the reason why I’ve got this blog, which is, they said, wasting time and energy. So if you are curious enough about what is behind this blog, you can keep reading. But it’s gonna be very, very long. You've been warned.

It started when I was a little kid, like, 18 years ago when I saw my mother’s drawing on an old book. She drew these four beautiful women: two worn nice veils, one with a high hair bun, and one with a long banged hair.

For one moment I was paralyzed. I said to myself, how can human draw this beautiful and perfect? So then I’ve become a big fan of my mother’s drawing and asked her to draw and draw and draw again, like million times, even as I remembered, she was pregnant for my younger brother and too tired to draw. Until one day, she got annoyed and she said she wouldn't draw me anymore.

Umbrella

This girl's drawing is a submission for Illustration Friday this week. The inspiration comes from my visit to the "Gelar Jepang UI" last week. I saw this cute little girl carrying her umbrella so beautifully. I guess she was an elementary school student. But I made it a little darker (as always).

A girl, carrying her umbrella so tall.

It's Ramadhan Again!

Alhamdulillah..it's Ramadhan again! Means, Muslim will do the fasting. And tarawih, and a lot of good deeds, and many more.

Welcome Ramadhan 1433 H!

May Allah always bless us. Btw, I promise you now, I won't write about any desperate stuff again because it's just too terrible to read I should keep it myself. ;) Happiness for us!

Catatan OJT II: Juni

Sebenernya aku gak begitu yakin mau nulis apa di sini. Tapi berhubung aku sudah terlanjur menulis tentang OJT bagian I, maka rasanya akan jomplang kalau tiba-tiba bagian ke-II ini hilang, karena sebentar lagi OJT III malah sudah bakalan berakhir.

Jadi kenapa aku kurang excited di OJT II, karena bulan lalu aku seperti lagi berada di titik terendah kehidupanku. (lebay, noted). Bayangin aja, kakakku nikah dan aku gak bisa datang. Rasa sakitnya masih kerasa sampai sekarang lho. Terus, aku juga kepentok masalah childish issue. Hmm sebenarnya, jika moody dan uring-uringan adalah salah satu tanda ketidakdewasaan seseorang, mungkin aku tidak akan pernah jadi dewasa, karena moody sudah mendarah daging di tubuhku. Hehe. Udah gitu, karena suatu hal, aku dibilang “merajuk” sama teman-temanku. Hmm gak baik loh tiba-tiba membuat kesimpulan subyektif begitu. (sekarang kalian tau kenapa aku nulis tentang candy waktu itu). Entah ya, ternyata berusaha dewasa itu sulit. Apalagi kalau kamu jadi yang paling muda dan orang-orang gak yakin kamu bisa dewasa. Terlanjur ada cap “anak bawang” di jidatmu gitu loh. Gimana rasanya?

Me and Mine

I don’t know if I will post this note or not but if you read this right now, that’ll mean that I posted it (obviously!). Look, recently I’ve been busy thinking. Uhm..let’s say, something about myself, something about my fate, something about ME. Anything with a big words MY followed with that self-centered stuff. That’s the selfish me I (sadly) couldn’t noticed earlier. And during that selfish period, a lot of things happened. Like, something about my younger brother, something about my grand pa, something about my cat.. something.. Well see, the word “MY” keep coming. But now, they are followed by something around, that I totally forgot they are also MINE.

Hangman's hill. This just the world that we live.

This burden, I mean, responsibility, will keep coming and stay on your shoulder. You just have no rights to choose “next time maybe” rather than “now please”. Even if you think that it’s too early for you to take all the responsibility now.

That Label

The hardest part of being the youngest person in town is the label "childish" they put on your forehead. No matter how much you've tried to fit in, no matter how much you've struggled to blend, they still have their doubt on you. 

Man.. believe me, you're exactly growing up. Even if they couldn't see it. Even if they doubt it. Maybe it's just, you grow too slow. And who said that if you grow slower than anyone else is a sin? That's not your fault. No one is interested to be a "Peter Pan" forever (maybe I would like to, but not in this real world. ha ha).

So keep growing. Keep trying. No fear. No doubt. You don't have to prove anything. You just have to be you. Even if they keep giving you candies just to stop your mouth from blabbing and crying (even if in fact you don't do any).

Too bad they considered you as a child so they give you the candy to make you stop blabbing.

It's not the candies you should blame on. It's about your reaction that makes you become a grown up or child (thanks to a friend who gave me this quote, although I changed it a bit).

*the word "you" on the whole post above refers to "I".