Okay? Okay!

Hi, so okay, I don't know if you'll understand this but I can't kiss you or anything. Not that you'd necessarily want to, but I can't.

When I try to look at you like that, all I see is what I'm going to put you through. Maybe that doesn't make sense to you.

Anyway, sorry.

He responded a few minutes later.


I wrote back.


He responded:

Oh, my God, stop flirting with me!

I just said:


My phone buzzed a moment later.

I was kidding, Hazel Grace. I understand. (But we both know that okay is a very flirty word).

I was very tempted to respond okay again, but I pictured him at my funeral, and that helped me text properly:


(The conversation taken from The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, as reviewed by me in Bahasa Indonesia, here).


The King of Cats by Nabila

(This is a guest post from my friend, Nabila. For those who forget, she's one of my office friend back in Medan, as seen on this post).

Greetings! My name's Nabila, I shared a house with Dew in Medan. Suddenly in an early Ramadhan morning, I felt the urge to contribute while giving Dew a glimpse of her old life in Medan. I'll warn you first, though: It'll be different. Dew's naturally witty & cleverly sarcastic. Me, I just try to be. I have absolutely none of Dew's skill with drawings, & my very own skills of writing is almost nonexistent (so not true - Dew :D). Still, it's been a terribly long time since the last time I wrote, & so I figured, time to start honing. And what better place than here?

Have you ever read J. Norman Lippert's fanfiction of JK Rowling's Harry Potter? He made a series called James Potter (after Harry's eldest son). The second book contained a chapter entitled "The King of the Cats". Here's an excerpt from James Potter and the Curse of the Gate Keeper where one of James' friends tells a story for the Wizard Literature class:


The Tough-ing Theory

In the middle of anything-I've-been-currently-doing, I watched movies a lot. I think it's a way to distract me from my endless routine on my work place. Here I don't make friends a lot, even after 8 months, everyone is just acquaintances (a hint! you don't really make friends in the office, mostly you'll just make plain "relations"). Uh, the melancholic side of me.


Dream Theater

This is not about music. In fact, I know none about that band. Yeah, this is about the dream theater, literally. Well, this thought has been wandering inside my head for quite some time. In my mind, I imagine myself as several persons who act in some kind of boring theater.

The first person is the artsy one. She loves to draw so much and can't live without it. She adores the freedom and whimsical artist life. The second is a nerd one. She's a geek who loves studying and will be very happy if she can enter prestigious college(s) until she's tired of schools. The third is the workaholic type who has ambition to reach as high as possible the carrier she's been living in. The last one (okay, I said I have SEVERAL, not only four, but let's face it I have to make this short and readable), is the phlegmatic-home based-peace lover-simple girl who will be very happy to live an ordinary simple life: doing house chores, a little busy by a small-wages-regular job, live with her parents until she's got married and think about nothing but her new family.

This is not a battle-themed theater, nor a boring satire (I already said boring, actually). Since all four of the roles are important, you might be wondering: Who's gonna win? Well, who's the heroine, actually?

And there are 4 persons in my Dream Theater. Illustration by Me.


A System Failure

Apa yang anda pikirkan ketika mendengar istilah "akselerasi"?

Anda yang lulusan teknik mesin, atau paling tidak, menyenangi bidang otomotif tentunya sudah tak asing lagi mendengar kata tersebut. Menurut salah seorang teman saya yang malang melintang di dunia permesinan dan otomotif, akselerasi berarti "perubahan kecepatan, atau percepatan". Hmm hal ini sebetulnya tak jauh berbeda dengan makna istilah tersebut dalam Kamus Besar Bahasa Indonesia (KBBI).

akselerasi /ak·se·le·ra·si/ /aksĂ©lerasi/ n 1 proses mempercepat; 2 peningkatan kecepatan; percepatan; 3 laju perubahan kecepatan (http://www.kbbi.web.id/).

Ketika saya bertanya lebih jauh, teman saya ini melanjutkan bahwa semakin tinggi akselerasi suatu kendaraan, maka semakin baik karena dibutuhkan waktu yang lebih sedikit untuk mencapai suatu tempat, dibandingkan dengan kendaraan lain dengan akselerasi lebih rendah. Terdengar seperti hal yang bagus bukan? Karena zaman sekarang ini, yang katanya globalisasi, semua hal dianggap tidak berhasil kalau tidak cepat. Cepat pun, tentunya cepat yang berhasil. Bukan cepat yang gagal. Lah emangnya ada "cepat yang gagal"?



Persepsi, dan seterusnya

Salah satu teman saya di twitter pernah me-RT tweet saya yang kira-kira isinya begini:

@xxxxx: Ginilah kerjaan pejabat --> RT @tweedledew: "Makan pagi di Padang, makan malam di Medan, tidurnya di Surabaya."

Padang - Medan - Surabaya - Bandung - Padang (dengan 4 maskapai yang berbeda. Semacam unik).
Pertamanya sih speechless banget baca tanggapan dia. Kok ya lucu aja gitu masa saya dibilang pejabat. Apalagi konotasi pejabat di negara ini gak bisa dibilang bagus. Coba kalau dia ke Teluk Kabung terus liat saya jadi apa di sana. Saya yakin dia akan menarik ucapannya itu. Tapi ya sudahlah.. di negara ini kan kebebasan berpendapat sudah diatur undang - undang toh? Hehe. Tapi yang lucu lagi tuh, kalau di tempat saya berasal, ketika saya mengatakan kalau saya kerja di PT A, dia nanya "Di pabriknya atau pom bensin-nya?" Hehehe. Biarlah mereka menyimpulkan sendiri. Itu kan hak mereka untuk buat persepsi. Betul?



When I read the topic for Illustration Friday (YES! I've been long gone from this world) in my email last week, there was one that came to mind. I think I need to draw somebody - or something - that need to be rescued from the abyss. You know I really like this quotes:

if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you (F. Nietzsche).

So if you want to rescue someone or something that might fall - or nearly fall into an abyss, you shan't look too long into it for it will tempt you to fall. Ah, whatever.

Rescued from the abyss.
REALLY, you don't need to read this one below.

Look, I am so sorry for not keeping up my promise (oh, did it a promise?) to post about my Ramadhan in Padang. Am I busy? Well, everyone is busy. I just not really have it to make a nice post. You know not everything I post is nice. I have a twitter and it's just pathetic that lately I've been making such horrible tweets. Am I that negative? Ugh.. guess I need to take a break (actually, I've took one last 2 days but it never seem enough). Honestly, it's been 5 months and I haven't got any fancy to my current "daily-activities" (you know what). I didn't - or haven't - enjoyed anything here. And my anti - social level is raising day by day. One of my acquaintance-neighbor once said "hey welcome to the real society"! Cynical as it sounds. This society is just not my cliques, no matter how hard I try to fit in. Uh, oh and I blab to much. THIS IS BAD! Does this mean that I am apparently the one who's in the abyss and need to be rescued? I don't know. I always exaggerate everything. 


Heart Attack


Been very hectic today. So many deadlines yet so little time (yes! The procrastinator me is screaming out loud here!!). Pulang kerja langsung ketiduran dan gak sempet masak buat buka. Jadinya cuma makan melon 2 potong plus green tea (entah mau ngurusin badan yang mana nih secara saya sudah kurus rupa begini). Bahkan tarawih tadi sempet nyanyi tuh perut - dengan kencangnya. Pura-pura tidak mengklaim diri sebagai sumber suara dengan tidak menunjukkan aksi saltink atau masam-mesem. Akhirnya barusan baru makan nasi - selamat datang gaya hidup makan sebelum tidur!

By the way saya belum habis pikir dengan sistem hormon wanita. Mengapa ada saja satu kalinya setiap bulan dimana hormon kami tidak stabil dan mood sangat-sangat jelek dan penyakit hati gampang hinggap? Dengki lah, sirik lah, su'udzon lah. Well, ini Ramadhan lho nooon. Hormon gak bisa disuruh diem apa ya. *pake nyalahin hormon* Masalahnya setiap hal yang nyelekit dan berpotensi menyinggung tiba-tiba ukurannya diperbesar berkali-kali lipat. Sakit hati menimbulkan penyakit hati. Kayak orang yang makan makanan enak tidak bergizi, atau ngerokok, atau stress gitu, yang akhirnya bisa dapet sakit jantung (heart attack, yes!). Analoginya persis seperti itu. Astagfirulloh. Makanya, saat-saat seperti ini beristigfar itu kerasa banget perlunya. Huhuhu.


Ramadhan in Padang


(now I realize that I HARDLY say salam except on the right column of this blog as my introduction. my bad!)

So tomorrow is the beginning of Ramadhan 1434 H. I'm excited and sad at the same time. Excited yeah, because well, it's Ramadhan! Sad because this is the second Ramadhan without me gathered with my family. :( Last year I was on my on-the-job-training session and there were my friends around me. I was in Jakarta back then. This year? I'm in Padang and alone. I live in this residence with everyone is employed in the company I worked for. They are all MEN. Right now I'm still acquaintances with the wives (of course I have to socialize more with the wives). I hope because of this Ramadhan coming, our bond will become stronger and better than acquaintances. There is always a person or two with judgy personality or insecurity issue but I'm sure if we choose the right approach, we're gonna blend easily.
This illustration made for the sample as I applied for an illustration job. For Asma Nadia! She saw this picture and replied my application letter but as I told her my domicile, she apparently shut the application down. :)

Guess what?


I Hate Quotes

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme.
I hate it, I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

Yes, yes. It's a direct quote from the teenage-romance-comedy drama in the 90s with title "10 Things I Hate About You" that has been my favorite drama since I first saw it in junior high school (it was year 2000 something actually, but not really too late I guess). This "I hate(s) quotes" are really implicating my earlier life while I was still a teenager and somehow cute to be heard. Well, I have this guilty pleasure that in my age (I'm 23, remember?) I still love to watch teenage drama - especially school drama - that involves girls romance story stuff. Mean Girls, Bring It On(s) and Step Up(s) are my absolute favorite.
The Stratford sisters of the "10 Things I Hate About You".

Okay, I'm embarrassed.


How's Life?

I'M STILL ALIVE! So sorry for not writing too much lately because I've been soooo busy trying to fit in on my first months. You know, the job isn't really alike with how I was pictured it before coming to this place. It's waaaay busier than I thought it was. So it's been 2 months since my last post about my life before I got moved from Medan to Padang. Yeah. Padang. I've never dreamed about this before but here I am. Still in Sumatra, and well, still *cough* in HSE. Padang is so much different from Medan. The culture, the people, the traffic (Oh! I have to blab about traffic, huh), the food.. but unfortunately, the punctuality issue is apparently the same. :( So how's life in Padang?

From here I'll continue in Bahasa Indonesia. I add picture everywhere so everyone still can enjoy it, no? ;)

Foto ini diambil pas saya masih di hotel (belum tinggal di rumah dinas).


Once Upon A Time in Medan

There are a lot of story that I really want to publish (and delayed - and cancelled) here mainly about my life as a Medan citizen. But well, here are some pictures, and I will make it as short as possible - although it still long and has a lot of images. Be prepared!


Medan. Pertama dengar nama itu, yang langsung terlintas di benak adalah: orang Batak! Hohoho. Maaf lho, tidak bermaksud SARA sih. Tapi seperti kebanyakan orang lainnya, kurasa hal itulah yang langsung terlintas di benak hampir setiap orang Indonesia - Jawa khususnya. Medan, yang pertama kudengar adalah betapa kerasnya kehidupan di sana. Orang-orangnya, lalu-lintasnya, dan juga *ehem* harganya. Hal itu membuat saya kikuk juga pada awalnya. Tapi yasudahlah. Kebetulan ada 6 orang yang seangkatan yang ditempatkan di Medan pada bulan Desember 2012 itu. Dua di antaranya (termasuk saya) adalah perempuan. So I was glad that I wasn't alone.

Hari pertama memang selalu jadi yang terberat, apalagi di tempat baru dan asing. Dengan berbekal segala sugesti dan asumsi, mau gak mau kita tetap harus berani menyongsongnya. Kalau enggak, kita akan semakin lama untuk beradaptasi. Tapi di Medan kasusnya agak lain. Gak cuma hari pertama, minggu-minggu pertama itu saya cukup dibuat pusing dengan beberapa hal. Misalnya:



Bentor dan angkot, sebagai dua jenis angkutan umum populer di Medan, itu mirip banget kelakuannya dengan Bajaj. Sudah ngebut, kebal aturan pula. Kadang parno sendiri tiap abis naik bentor atau angkot di sini karena kecepatan jalannya udah kayak orang balapan. Dan klakson, di sini klakson itu murah banget! Sedikit aja jalanan terhambat, semua kendaraan membunyikan klakson. Apa gak pusing? Tapi setelah beberapa hari, terutama sekarang ini saat saya udah gak di Medan, saya kangen juga naek bentor. Abis, itu memang kendaraan yang paling gampang ditemui di Medan. Mau ke mana-mana gampang, karena dia prinsipnya persis Bajaj. Ditawar dulu harganya di depan, baru kalau udah deal, langsung cabcus deh ke tempat yang dituju. Apa gak praktis?


Growing Artsy

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up. - Pablo Picasso -

Ever since I was a little kid, I used to have this imagination, that someday I will have a big printing company, producing lots of books (with pictures in it), be a part of magazine, and an art gallery that exhibits my artworks. But time flies and my interests have been growing, from medical to architectural, from comic to illustration, from chemistry to computational chemistry (it's fun thing to know that I don't have to do any lab works; I know, I'm a lazy-bone :]), and sometimes in the opposite direction. Also, I have a huge interest in biochemistry and molecular biology. You know it's a very interesting science stuff, mainly the immunology, knowing that you can actually fight a lot of disease just by modifying its arrangement at the smallest molecular level.. it's just priceless. Not that I'm the smartest kid in this field (in fact I only have the interest, not really the knowledge). See I have a lot of interests except anything sporty (I don't even understand soccer!duh).

Okay, but still, journalistic is the best field for me (come on, I'm a blogger and I do advertisement like in my whole time).


A Motivating Arrogance

One good thing can basically makes your day; while another thing doesn't. How about TWO good things? Like, when they are combined into one. It supposed to make a combo effect, like a good good-thing. But lately I found it wrong. And this is what happened to me a week ago.


Ketika kamu berada dalam sebuah tatanan sosial, dengan sendirinya kamu akan mencoba banyak cara untuk fit in dengan tatanan tersebut. Contohnya saya. Ketika saya merasa orang lain melihat sesuatu dari sudut pandang yang lebih tinggi dari saya, saya pun mencoba untuk berdiri sama tinggi dengan mereka supaya kami bisa berbicara tanpa ada seorang pun yang merasa direndahkan. Salah satu cara termudah adalah dengan memakai sepatu yang disebut "wedges".

(Nah sekarang anda tau "tinggi" seperti apa yang saya maksud *huft*).

Wedges adalah bentuk lain dari high heels atau sepatu ber-hak tinggi, namun dalam bentuk yang lebih "ramah" karena hak-nya itu tidak selancip sepatu-sepatu model dan bisa dikategorikan aman karena tebalnya itu. Saya yang alergi high heels melihat fenomena ini sebagai suatu kesempatan besar. Oleh karena itu sebulan yang lalu saya pun membeli sepasang wedges. Jarang sekali saya membeli sepatu akan tetapi ketika melihat sepatu ini di payless, saya pikir saya harus membelinya.

My wedges.



Just derping around with my old files when suddenly found these pieces of comics (lame ones, though). So here they are (its in Bahasa, sorry):



2013 = 23

I told you this like over and over again, but well I can't help not to say this. So this is why I'm excited with the whole new year thing: I've got my birthday just 2 days after the NYE. Hehe. No, I'm not really celebrating myself. It's the same day as the other days are. Only, people send us their prayer, their gifts, and their treat-requests. (Thanks for everyone who sent me the birthday messages, texts, walls, mentions and calls).

One of the best moments was I've got a rainbow cake for my birthday from my new friends in the same boarding house. It was really unexpected because they are my new friends who apparently haven't know me well to give me something like a cake. But I do appreciate that. Big thank you guys! :)

Thank you "Pinky Residence fellows" :)
The best part is of course the prayers you guys sent me. You know, I truly believe in the power of prayers. So I'm not bothered with that. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 0:)


If Happiness and Grief Should Be Combined

So, yeah, I'm 24 now. And it's like an obligation for me to write about my last year and resolution and whatsoever similar, on the 3rd of January, right on my birth day. But today is not the happiest day of my life since yesterday my Grandma has passed away. It's quite a surprise because the one who has been sick is my Grandpa, not her. And she was just suddenly left us. Yeah, it's that sudden and what a surprise - I really don't like surprises and heck this is an ugly one. 

Image Source
From now on, I'll remember my birth date as my Grandma's funeral date, too. :(

The last time I met her like, two weeks ago when I took my first leisure day-off, she asked my mother about my marriage plan. I refused to answer it because well, I hasn't plan any (a note: I don't talk about my private life in this blog). It's a common question for girls my age and I don't really bothered. What really bothered me is, when people keep talking about "that plan" whilst they passed away like one by one. It really is a grief. Back to the topic, so my Grandma, she's my father's mom. My elementary school is just in front of her little shop. I used to visit her in my break time, along with my childhood friend, and my cousins. We used to sleep over in her house and listen to the stories my Grandpa told us. She spoiled us all, especially me. We have a lot of similarities. I even imagine myself as her when I grow very old. Yeah, we're that similar.

But now she's passed away. Today is her funeral and I can't make it to attend. As you know that I live in Padang, and my hometown is Sumedang, and I have to take flight to Bandung or Jakarta to get there. The time is just not enough to make it. It's so hurt when I call my father and hear his shaking voice and told me to calm. Instead, I was upset. And the reason I was upset is confusing, is it because: I can't make it to her funeral, I didn't get to see her for the last time, or the fact that my birth day is ruined?

By the way, last December I got so many dreadful (did I say dreadful?) experiences. I won't tell you everything but my carelessness was finally caught me. So my resolution to 2014 is, to be least careless and minimize my rush-ness behavior. Uh, I don't know. I can't really write anything useful right now because of my grief. Well thank you for all your kind attention to congratulate and pray me. You don't know how much it means to me. And please, please, send my Grandma your prayer too. Today is my birthday, but also my Grandma's funeral. So you're gonna pray us both. Thank you again for reading this. :)

P.S: Don't worry, I didn't write this during my work hour, everyone here is doing our aerobic activity and since I'm not in the mood to do it, I wrote this super quick post. Thanks.