To Be Liked - Or Not

What is it the essence of being a likable person? Why do people trying so hard to be liked?

I don't care if people like me or not. What I do care is when they show so much disrespect towards me as if they try to emphasize their dis-likeness to me. I know myself very much, along with my inability to be easily liked. Do you think I like myself?

I am not a likable person. That is why I am aware when a particular person dislikes me - perhaps the code is very subtle, but I can feel it. Somehow I don't care. But at other times when people start questioning - I am like, man it's hurt. The most humiliating feeling is when your closest friend also judge you and asks you to think about why that particular person doesn't like you. Because at times it seems that I was the one who doesn't like that person.

A: "I think he doesn't like me."
B: "Stop it. He is a natural kind."
A: "So is it my fault then if he doesn't like me because he is kind and I am not?"
B: "I'm just saying that he is kind. It's kind of strange when you don't like him."

Oh yeah. It seems so abnormal when this particular person doesn't like me. What did I do? It's not that I care. I just, well, people questioning, and I felt judged and being (wrongly) judged is not that comfortable.

It was funny when, you know, I once trying to be as bubbly as that person - or groups. But I am bitter inside. Here's the thing. I am not interested in any forced relationship - and this is applied in every aspect: love, life, friendship, sisterhood, you named it. If you don't like me, I don't care, do as you please. I don't think being a good person means you can't unlike anybody or anything. Same as being disliked doesn't mean that you're bad. So it's not your fault if you don't like me while I try to dislike people as few as possible - yeah I have the list.

Hey, I know a thing. Why bother so much? Yes. Stop it. Because the answer is always this: I could care less.

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