23.11.16

The Ghostwriter Part 2; Publish or Perish

If there's a part 2, then there must be a part 1 heheh. Well that part 1 was happened years ago, when I was still in the "will-work-for-food" phase (in the most desperate state) and doesn't need any attention to my actual entity. For example, I didn't sign my creation (or writing); means, I let people claimed it as theirs; means, no one knows it was me creating things. And then there were "but(s)" behind all these means. Here are the but(s): I was paid, They were nice, The situation didn't allowed me to do that (For example: I've just graduated, how would I write a doctoral thesis on my own, right?) and I was paid lol. So there was no problem about that, right? We made a deal! And because I learnt a lot by doing that so I didn't hate it. Being a ghostwriter was fun. Like being a secret agent.

WAS fun.

Until unfortunately, I found it was no longer exciting since I am in the real world now. Yes. I told people that one of my motto is "publish or perish" but at times, I'm too coward to take credits for everything. Have I told you that I once hid myself in the crowd when I was announced as a winner of something in high school and asked to get on to the stage, just because I didn't want to be seen - I was too shy (and coward). Okay that was the stage fright things and happen to be lost in sight nowadays (sometimes it happened again, displease everyone). What I'm talking about now is something deeper.
Originally seen on Marc Jacobs ad. Illustration on plain paper using inks and water color. Refined by Photoshop CC.
This is the situation where you create (or control, or think, or whatever) something but no one knows about it coming from you. And they do it on purpose while you don't. There are reasons behind it but it doesn't matter. Your name isn't worth to mention and they prefer you to stay anonymous. So you hid yourself again. Like a ghostwriter (or only "ghost"). Only this time, you don't mean it.


To explain the ambiguity-ish feeling resulted by this situation, I'll split myself into two persons.

20.11.16

Itch and Pain

*Got a terrible luck to reach my original account, so I decided to enter my blog using this one lol.

A little recap about my last two months (wait, wut??):

9 October 2016

Back to home (my parents' home, I mean) - it has safety concerns but what choice do we have now :( On the first 3 days I got chill every time the heavy rain poured. Had a reachable stuff piled up to take if something emergency happened. Seems my experience in HSE had finally met its use :P I was sad seeing my cat as thin as paper! We did feed him everyday but he looked sad (judging from his eyes) so when we finally went home, he is now so clingy. Love you so much, buddy!

10 - 14 October 2016

A very hectic way to spend the leisure days. I told my boss that I need to sort something out regarding my homecoming - 22 days of refuge equals tons of stuff: pillows, clothes, food, etc. etc. - when in fact I was "sorting" another thing lol.

9 - 11 November 2016

That another thing was succeed so I took the second step. Perhaps it was the LONGEST three days of my life because things were scary (I have no idea why) but exciting at the same time. Luckily I had 'stuff' guided me from the very beginning so I didn't feel left out whatsoever :D. That thing is not really discuss-able at the moment so talking with people, tweeting all the time and something alike offer a great help (or sweet distraction!). Stressing me out like crazy. And at this point you probably thought "The F are you saying!" but sorry I do not want to talk about it since my head is full of unnecessary things right now *tears*.

Work In Progress.
And here we go with the unnecessary things: