Friday, January 3, 2014

If Happiness and Grief Should Be Combined

So, yeah, I'm 24 now. And it's like an obligation for me to write about my last year and resolution and whatsoever similar, on the 3rd of January, right on my birth day. But today is not the happiest day of my life since yesterday my Grandma has passed away. It's quite a surprise because the one who has been sick is my Grandpa, not her. And she was just suddenly left us. Yeah, it's that sudden and what a surprise - I really don't like surprises and heck this is an ugly one. 

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From now on, I'll remember my birth date as my Grandma's funeral date, too. :(

The last time I met her like, two weeks ago when I took my first leisure day-off, she asked my mother about my marriage plan. I refused to answer it because well, I hasn't plan any (a note: I don't talk about my private life in this blog). It's a common question for girls my age and I don't really bothered. What really bothered me is, when people keep talking about "that plan" whilst they passed away like one by one. It really is a grief. Back to the topic, so my Grandma, she's my father's mom. My elementary school is just in front of her little shop. I used to visit her in my break time, along with my childhood friend, and my cousins. We used to sleep over in her house and listen to the stories my Grandpa told us. She spoiled us all, especially me. We have a lot of similarities. I even imagine myself as her when I grow very old. Yeah, we're that similar.

But now she's passed away. Today is her funeral and I can't make it to attend. As you know that I live in Padang, and my hometown is Sumedang, and I have to take flight to Bandung or Jakarta to get there. The time is just not enough to make it. It's so hurt when I call my father and hear his shaking voice and told me to calm. Instead, I was upset. And the reason I was upset is confusing, is it because: I can't make it to her funeral, I didn't get to see her for the last time, or the fact that my birth day is ruined?

By the way, last December I got so many dreadful (did I say dreadful?) experiences. I won't tell you everything but my carelessness was finally caught me. So my resolution to 2014 is, to be least careless and minimize my rush-ness behavior. Uh, I don't know. I can't really write anything useful right now because of my grief. Well thank you for all your kind attention to congratulate and pray me. You don't know how much it means to me. And please, please, send my Grandma your prayer too. Today is my birthday, but also my Grandma's funeral. So you're gonna pray us both. Thank you again for reading this. :)

P.S: Don't worry, I didn't write this during my work hour, everyone here is doing our aerobic activity and since I'm not in the mood to do it, I wrote this super quick post. Thanks.

1 comment:

  1. my deep condolence to your grandma :( so sorry to read this
    by the way "...so my Grandma, she's my father's mom" --> did you mean my mother's mom?

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