Ridiculously Tough, Ridiculously Uncertain

Can you believe, I have a ridiculously tough time in this past 2 weeks and I think it won't end too soon! Well as I said before, I've been waiting for an email which is said will change my life. What kind of email is that? Uhm you might aware about it from something I posted before but I don't want to tell.

So yes, I've sentenced as "pass the final interview and going to receive the invitation email to get the job-training". But, as you might guess, the email didn't come. I don't know. Is it "didn't come" or don't come yet" or "will not ever come", I don't know. How could I know? It is really unfair knowing that some people who applied later than me (I applied in January 2011, announced to pass the interview in July 2011 and SAID that going to have training not later than December 2011) has already received the invitation email and so they are going to get the job-training before me. Just why is that? Of course, I asked it to some people who's already work there and also emailed the recruitment team, why did my email doesn't appear in my inbox. But the answers are always the same: "dear Dewi, we've received your email and we wish you to wait longer". Wait, wait and wait. All I heard just this "wait" words. But they didn't give me (and 2 of my friends) a straight answer. I was hoping we received something like "dear all, you might get your training starting not later than month xx and date xx. Because you are blablabla." But they didn't do that. So everything just remains uncertain.

I just feel like deceived. Well it's a huge company. Some might won't believe this is happened. But it just does happen. We Indonesian called it "BUMN", a state company. It produces a large quantity of oil, lubricants and something alike (from here if you are Indonesian, you must know what kind of company I mean). But just why is the recruitment system is this uncertain? They probably should improve their human resources to get everyone happy and fairly treated. And again, just so you know, it's already passed 11 months since I applied. I also must note here that I really pass the final interview so I have rights to blab about this, no? 

Just what should I do? Should I be grateful because I probably could pursue my dream to become a full-time illustrator (right now I'm still a free-lancer with a small number of commissions)? Or should I keep send spam to their email just to get the answer and the justice? I just confused. I'm nobody. Really, I won't win against this kind of company if I try to sue or something like that.

Un-umbrella-ed girl. Just like me. Because I'm nobody.

P.S: At first I attempted to write this post in Bahasa Indonesia since this is an emotional writing; but you know if the company find out, I'm afraid they might block my blog. Something like that. They are tricky. And I'm not brave enough to fight.


  1. haaah dew.. can't say anything.. lil bit know what it feel.. suck... hehee.. cheer up gals.. ^^

  2. speechless....sesuatu yang terjadi pasti ada hikmah di baliknya, insyaAllah.
    jangan patah semangat, pintu lain masih terbuka lebar dan siap untuk dimasuki, buktikan kalo kamu layak untuk menerima lebih dari apa yang harus kamu tunggu kemarin.
    Allah selalu punya skenario indah Neng, yakin..ikhtiar, optimis.

  3. You're really somebody, sist!
    You'll have fabulous time after this, make they really sorry for make you wait.
    Ganbatte, D!

  4. oh god! that's unfair! if they can't give you the job, so they have to say it straight certainly.
    I know how you feel, you can always accepted and appreciated more in another company. just because they are BUMN doens't mean they are the best :)
    keep fight :)


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